So, where's the f-in' money?

The Federal Government is hugemongous. I mean it's monstrously large. John Holmes on Viagra large (for those of you who are visual learners). But, how did it get so big?

Are the pinheads in Washington putting in one program after another in efforts to bring home the bacon? Are politicians literally going spending crazy? Are tax-and-spend liberals engaging in wealth distribution? Have neo-conservatives hawks war-mongered us into financial ruin?

Thanks to our friends at the Federal Government, the budget documents are archived at gpoaccess.gov. We can explore past and current expenditures. For this discussion, I have collected and summarized the data for FY2000, FY2005 and FY2010. Let's explore:

The first thing that really stands out is that over a 10-year period we have gone from a $236 Billion surplus to a $1258.4 Billion deficit while tax revenues have increased. Let me say that again - "WHILE TAX REVENUES HAVE INCREASED". Everyone who wants to blame large deficits on tax cuts can GO TO BED - we're going to have adult time now.

The second interesting thing is that spending in every category has grown. A lot. Revenues have increased by 14.7%, population has increased by 9% and spending has increased by 100%. Spending doubled in 10 years! Each category (except interest paid) increased by a minimum of 66%, with the biggest spending increase coming in the "Other Gov't Spending" category. Congratulations you money sucking whores.

So there you have it, right? Has discretionary spending bankrupted us? Are we approaching financial ruin because some Senator approved funding in an earmark for earthworm research at his Alma Mater. Not exactly... Though it's a whopping percentage increase, it amounts to $145.2 Billion. That's a ton of money, but not so much when compared to a $Trillion debt.

Back to the real question, "So where's the f-in' money?".

The largest components of the federal budget are Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid and Defense. So, let's look there for a minute...

If we returned those categories to FY2000 levels, guess what happens to our deficit? It goes from $1.2584Trillion to $45.2Billion. Hmmmmmmmmm.

At this point I need to take a break from writing this post, find a 68-year-old retiree and beg him/her for lunch money.

[...]

I'm back. One would think that a 68-year-old would be frailer. But he jumped over the net at mid-court and came after me with his racket when I asked him for money. Come to think of it, if he's in that good of enough health, why is he retired? Oh well.

The final thing I would like to point out is this: the deficit cannot be reduced without reducing Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid and Defense. There are not enough No-Child-Left-Behind-Other-Government-Handouts-That-Amount-To-Wasteful-Spending programs that will add up to $1.2Trillion. On the other hand, if we ONLY fund Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid and Defense at the current levels and nothing else (nothing, notta - no national parks, no centers for disease control, no earthworm research, no Pell grants, no free/reduced school lunches, no Freddie, no Fannie, no FBI, no SEC, no courts, no legislative branch, no executive branch - I mean NOTHING else), we'd still have a $150Billion deficit.

It turns out letting healthy people who are going to live to 90 retire at 65 was about as good of an idea as engaging in 2 full-scale, simultaneous wars. Whoops.

Drano, Bleach and Cinnamon

Right now the Obama administration's reaction to swine flu (oh, sorry, the N1H1 virus) seems to resemble that of a 16-year-old applying his full mental capacity to trying to get high off of common household chemicals. There has to be some magical incantation of Drano, bleach, tractor fuel and kitchen spices, right!? Probably not...

The administration has been, in the same sentence, saying this could be the worst pandemic since 1918 and trying to convince people to live a normal (don't be scared) life. VeeP Biden has people cancelling plane trips and stopping subway use, while the acting director of the CDC is now thinking this strain of the virus isn't any worse than other strains. You mean there actually is a difference between the health care systems in Mexico and the United States!? Who knew?

After witnessing knee-jerk reactions to terrorism, financial crisis and now the flu, it's was unrealistic to think that DC would put forth a calm and measured response.

Sen. Arlen Specter is Bi!

See, don't you love blogs - you can post anything to get people's attention, it shows up in a search engine and you don't have to substantiate the statement at all. Of course, there's a point to my inflammatory title...

Last week, Sen. Specter switched from being a life-long Republican to being a Democrat.

For his party switch, Specter has been at the center of hate politics - talk radio.

Why would he subject himself to such partisan venom? Why become a poster child for either side in the blood-sport of political fight club? Well, turns out he didn't want to face a primary attack from the right. He admitted that his switching wasn't based on ideology, a morale compass or a better feeling of belonging (because, ya know, those reasons suck). Rather, it was out of a desire to not face a tough primary in his bid for re-election.

How is it that Specter, not even the most liberal Republican in the Senate, could face such a tough attack from the right in a primary election? It turns out, activists Republicans don't like to support someone who isn't 100% aligned to their views. 99% of a friend isn't enough. Never mind that, as chairman of the judicial committee, he supported and pushed through the nominations of 2 of the most conservative judges ever to be put on the Supreme Court. Never mind history has shown that when a primary electorate installs someone more ideological, the seat almost always switches party. Nope, Specter wasn't fanatic enough.

To those Republican primary voters, he might as well have been bi-sexual, had an abortion or missed church services. The sin of working with the opposition was just too great to forgive. And because of the fear of 530,000 Republican primary voters in Pennsylvania, the US Senate is almost certainly going to be controlled by a Democratic super majority that is filibuster-proof.

Nice Job, dumb-asses! I get the feeling that if these same people applied themselves to curing swine flu, we'd all end up sick.

Oh well, if it weren't for right-wing, nut-job Republicans and pinko-Commy, pussy Democrats, I wouldn't have anything to write about.